I'd say giving up sounds like a good idea, but that's just not me

I'm not sure what to do anymore. My family life seems to be falling apart because of me. I have continued to tell myself that it's not my fault, that other people need to change, not me. I still think that there is more compromise to the solution than just me changing who and what I am. I think that me getting a steady job is going to make things approximately 150% better (I could be wrong about that number, I'm not great at math). But in the meantime, I guess I need to just be an adult, admit my failings, and move forward. Why does it always take really shitty circumstances to get me to pay attention? Probably because I'm more or less a lifelong failure and that is simply one more symptom of my failings. I don't remember the last thing that I did really well. I'm kinda getting used to the idea of just doing what others tell me to do, that way, I'll have less (hopefully) of a change to screw things up. I know most of this is me having a pity party for myself, but I've got to get past this feeling of being a letdown to anyone I've ever known to move on and get better. I know I haven't failed at everything and that there are things I'm good at (to one degree or another). It's just right now, I feel like I'm at the bottom of the well looking up. But at least I am looking up, right?